Thank you for the positive comments xo

Good note: For today I had a to-do list which I had to follow in order to occupy myself and force myself to do things that I did not want to do. Guess what, I did them!

I feel better than yesterday but the anxious feeling in my stomach still remains. I have been thinking a lot about my childhood and how we as children were expected to behave in certain ways because people expected us to. But what do I do when I grow up and I have very little self-esteem and understanding how self-motivation works? I don’t have a drive to do something to fulfill my dreams because to be completely honest, I don’t have any dreams.

I’ve spent such a large part of my life doing things for my parents that I have no idea how to even desire to do things for myself? Like what is the point?

Other than wondering about my childhood, I have slowly been regaining my voice and health and I have lost 5kg from the start of August so that is pretty neat (I’m very slightly overweight by BMI standards tho those standards are a bit of bull).

I forced myself to do stuff that I didn’t want to do so that was a success and also I’ll recommend a free app called “seven” if you are thinking about starting to work out. It gives you 12 exercises in about 7 minutes to follow and don’t worry if you can’t do them all – you will get better.

I’ll try to game now,

One thought on “30.09.16”

  1. Happy to hear you’re feeling better 🙂 these things always take time as the cliche goes but as long as you have faith in yourself you can do anything, try not to dwell on the past as there is nothing you can do to change it but you have full control of what happens in your future just concentrate in that 🙂 Sending you good vibes sweets x

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