Thank you for the positive comments xo
Good note: For today I had a to-do list which I had to follow in order to occupy myself and force myself to do things that I did not want to do. Guess what, I did them!
I feel better than yesterday but the anxious feeling in my stomach still remains. I have been thinking a lot about my childhood and how we as children were expected to behave in certain ways because people expected us to. But what do I do when I grow up and I have very little self-esteem and understanding how self-motivation works? I don’t have a drive to do something to fulfill my dreams because to be completely honest, I don’t have any dreams.
I’ve spent such a large part of my life doing things for my parents that I have no idea how to even desire to do things for myself? Like what is the point?
Other than wondering about my childhood, I have slowly been regaining my voice and health and I have lost 5kg from the start of August so that is pretty neat (I’m very slightly overweight by BMI standards tho those standards are a bit of bull).
I forced myself to do stuff that I didn’t want to do so that was a success and also I’ll recommend a free app called “seven” if you are thinking about starting to work out. It gives you 12 exercises in about 7 minutes to follow and don’t worry if you can’t do them all – you will get better.
I’ll try to game now,