Always when It rains.

     You never seem to be able to leave my mind alone, always intruding when I least expect it. Or perhaps its my own doing. I thought I was doing good, keeping our memories out of my mind. But it always seems to reappear when it rains, reliving the best of our moments together. For I was always terrified of storms, crawling under blankets until it ceased. But you.. You loved the rain, it was your favorite. You’d explain the reasons why you enjoyed it and after awhile, I did too. Rain became my favorite, and I didn’t understand why. But you brought it here, the love for rain. I loved rain because it brought you. And now that you’re gone my feelings for rain shift once again into this mixed emotion that’s about as clear as the gray clouds that hold it. I despise the rain, how dare it flood in memories I’ve tried so hard to forget. I’m not scared anymore. And I supposed anger is better than fear, but both however cause irrational thoughts and actions. Just like you. We were so stubborn in our ways that neither one of us could admit out mistakes, so you left. You left and I stood there waiting for you to come back to like for the fifth time like you always do. But you didn’t come. You told me you never wanted to talk to me. And I responded by telling you how I’d always be there, even if you hated me. But you didn’t want me to. You told me no, that’d you’d never come back because all you had to offer me was anger. The last words to leave my lips were “Just go”. And with that you went. It’s been two months since then. You left me alone, how could I depend on a single person so much. Four years together and you said we’d always be friends. And now it’s turned to hatred. But I’ll always love you, even if someone else has taken my place. You’ll always cross my mind. And I wonder if I ever cross yours when it’s snowing outside. For you  know how excited I always got, bouncing around like a kid when the first snowflake fell. I hope my rain is your snow.

I love you Ra.

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