At My Doorstep

14th September ’16


So the last few days have been a blur. I went and saw my mum I hadn’t slept for 48hrs, I was up all night, as usual. I have now gone back to my basement. Alex and Cal met me on my doorstep. we all chilled and smoked. We were fucked. Watched loads of space rap videos and tripped out so bad. Alex is a lost soul. But so pure. He slept in my makeshift bed on the floor. They both went and I went and met Lil. 

I let her sit on my face. Then her friends came over. So we all cuddled on the sofa. I then left and Cal came over and we were joined by a couple of skater guys.

In the last week I’ve been in my own company for 10hrs max and it was enough for me to arrange an appointment with a therapist. Which I cancelled of course. Maybe I get some weird satisfaction from cancelling things. A guilt. I get over things very fast. 

I’ve been busy in a very destructive way. It thundered today I was lying on my bed.  It rained on me through the open window. Small tiny droplets of water exploding on my skin. The sky was lit but it was dark. And I think she’s someone I could miss. The hours all merge together. I hope the weather stays like this. I’m angry. I don’t own a skateboard. I’m spending way too much on weed.




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