I should be getting ready for work right now but instead I’m freaking out about all the bad decisions I’ve been making lately. I knew that restless feeling I’ve had would lead to something that I would regret. So first off, work has been super slow…and I mean painfully slow. The other day it really was boring me, so that night a coworker invited me to his friends house to drink. Usually I would have said no because I don’t want to have to deal with sleeping over a random persons house and possibly not being able to start my car the next morning because of that damn interlock device…but I was bored so I said yes. A few people from work were there so it was actually pretty fun. We had a LOT of drinks and I took a codeine. We played kings cup and I don’t remember much after that. I just remember drinking a lot more and then we all went over to this random dudes house and this other girl and I snorted something (probably a codeine) which is disgusting because yes, I’ve experimented with cocaine before but I didn’t like it and didn’t think I would ever do any sort of snorting again. So that was bad. After that I was really tired and was ready to call it a night so at first we were going to sleep at that dudes house but he kept trying to give all the girls a back massage so that was weird and me and this other girl left. I slept at her house and feel like I got a decent sleep. I didn’t feel hungover or anything so I tried to start my car and of course it said I still had something in my system. I didn’t exactly want to wait at that girls house even though that’s what would have made the most sense but I was freaking out and I called my boyfriend to come pick me up and figured he would just sleep at my house and we would pick up my car the next day since I had to work and he had to pass that way anyways. He was pissed though and we got into this huge fight although he did end up picking me up. We went to get something to eat and waited a few hours and then finally I was able to start it. We made up and he ended up coming over to my house anyways and for some reason I was hellbent on going to the gym. I took a pre workout supplement which probably was my downfall because after working out for about 45 minutes I had to puke. After that I felt better and we just relaxed for the rest of the day. I had made some drunken phone calls and texts to Gregory and Rob which I feel so embarrassed about. I just need to cool it on drinking and especially being so selfish. I just can’t help making bad decisions and not really thinking about the aftermath. So tomorrow I’m going to Portland and I’m pretty excited. It couldn’t have come at a better time because I just feel like I need to get out of here. Too bad it’ll only be for a couple days. Hopefully this will be the recharge I need and when I get back I’ll have a fresh perspective on things.