I don’t have school today. I am going to try to use this day to run some errands. I have applied at a couple of NYC private schools. That may be my calling. I have been trying to save the lowest of the low to very little avail for my entire career. Maybe I could move up there and teach SJP’s twins and meet some nice people. Moving to NYC is a huge, huge change. I will have to get rid of nearly every possession I have. Not even my kitchen table can go. I have to really want this to make it work. I know the public schools there are offering 81K right now, but I am going to try to negotiate (not sure if that’s possible) to be paid for more experience. The most they pay you for is 8 years. I have no idea what the private schools pay, but I am applying and I suppose if I get any offers, I’ll know. If nothing changes before then, I am going to go to the job fair there on February 25th. If I have a job lined up by the spring, then I can focus on getting my house sold and getting rid of most of my stuff. I think I will get a storage space and put books, most of my household stuff and some sentimental stuff there. I think I can get a place for about $65 a month. Once house is sold, next the car has to go. I really like my car, but I can always get another one if I come back here.
I have not mentioned the animals. For the house to even be listed, Noah, Blackie, and John will have to be out. I cannot even replace the carpet until the animals are out. If Bethany doesn’t want Ben, he will have to go to GRRAND. I just cannot sacrifice my life- being a martyr for a dog. I cannot just sit here and rot, waiting for my dog to die so I can go get a life. He will be fine.
I went to my therapy appointment and I think I am doing well. She said the NYC thing would be good if I don’t just go there and work all the time.
I am sitting at a car place, waiting on my car, getting my oil changed. I have been sitting here, listing shit on Craigs List. I am going to have to just keep posting stuff all the time. I will leave the shit in my house as far as pictures on the wall and most of the decor while I am trying to sell it. I will have to also list that stuff on eBay, most likely. I will have a better chance of selling it there, but Craig’s list is free, so might as well, right? I am going to sell everything except the things I just cannot bear to part with. That’s likely not a lot. I will keep whatever will fit into a 10×10 storage room. One of my couches, my kitchen table and chairs, my photo albums, not sure what else. I am hoping I can at least take one couch with me. I don’t really even know if I will be able to take one couch.
I am going to sell most everything. I need a reason to live. I need something to work toward. I need something to want.