It has been a hard last couple of days.  I think so often about journaling but never have the time or privacy to do it.  And when I start to journal it is like I am sick of myself already.  Actually I am sick of myself complaining but then continuing to do the same things over and over again….  It is 9pm.  The clan has just left, about 15 minutes ago.  Randy has been outside ever since.  He is acting weird…..  I guess you could say, distant.  But then again I probably am too.  Went to the bank today to talk to them about my accounts.  I just got paid and my entire check was taken because of his back child support.  All of that hard work, for nothing.  I am too sleepy to d this right now. 

Gotta fly







2 thoughts on “Difficult”

  1. Denise, it sounds like your life is pretty good and that you appreciate what you have and that’s great. I wonder about the sadness that is still there. I’m going to ask you a very personal question, I apologize in advance. Here it is: is there anyone you haven’t forgiven in your past. Like your ex-husband? It would be very natural to hold onto hurt and angry feelings. However, to be free and find peace, you must forgive. It is not easy, but it is essential. Forgiveness does not let him off the hook (and you don’t have to tell him—this is between you and God) but it sets YOU free. You re-claim your heart when you forgive. God can redeem your past and make you future even more beautiful than it is now. Also, it is good for your children when you forgive your ex. I’m sorry for being so personal but this is what I think will help you, and you asked for help. I will pray for you, also. Bless your heart!

  2. Wow! Thank you so much for the comment. It really means a lot to me that there are people out there that do care. Not that I didn’t think so but…. just thank you. About my ex, good question. I think I have forgiven him for all of what happened way back then but he does stuff on a daily basis almost that keeps me mad at him. He is very very unreliable. Like in an extremely bad way. My girls are getting used to it but it does not make it okay. I have more to say but I have to go for now. Thank you again.

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