Definition of Marriage:

The legally or formally recognized union of two partners in a relationship.


A combination or mixture of two or more elements.

I like the second definition better.

My husband and I have been married for two years. Two wonderful, lovely, amazing years.  We had a beautiful wedding in the woods under a tree that had fallen and taken root from both the top and the bottom, thus forming an arch.  We got married under that arch on a cool, misty day in October.  No one stood with us. Just him and I, under that arch. Isn’t that the point?

Apparently not in todays society.  It’s all about the bridal party, music, décor, flowers, dresses, photos, beer and cake. We can’t forget the cake.  When exactly did we lose the point behind it all?? When did we forget that the entire day is meant to bind two people that have chosen to love each other forever? Did we forget?? Maybe not?

Who is to say one type of wedding is better than another?? I loved our wedding.  It was a wonderful day, but my favorite part was standing under that arch, just him and I, completely in love.  I’ve never felt more beautiful than I did at that moment.  I could have ended the day right there and been content forever, but I didn’t.

I had beer and cake.

Marriage is defined by a combination or mixture of two elements. It never tells you what kind of elements. That can make a very big difference.  Bleach and ammonia for instance, can kill you when mixed.  However, hydrogen and oxygen will provide you water to quench your thirst.  We definitely have a hydrogen and oxygen marriage.

Some people have a bleach and ammonia marriage.

Marriage isn’t just a piece of paper.  It’s leaving the porch light on when your wife comes home late from work. Rolling up your husbands car window when he forgot and there is a storm coming. Helping each other do the dishes and folding the laundry, even if you both have different ways of doing each.  It’s trying your hardest to make the other person happy, not because you have to, but because you want to.  It’s working through issues, talking them out and listening to each persons thoughts.  There are always multiple answers to situations and many times, multiple RIGHT answers. 

Marriage is work.

Some days, I don’t like my husband.  There are times he drives me absolutely insane, but they are few and far between.  I’m sure some days he doesn’t like me.  Some days, I don’t even like me.  It’s not going to be perfect all of the time. Loving someone when everything is going right is easy, true love is loving someone even when everything is going wrong.  There is a certain level of friendship that is required in a marriage.  The ability to speak your mind and be comfortable with that person no matter the conversation or,  even lack thereof. 

My husband is my best friend.

Can we base how long a marriage will last on how elaborate the wedding day is?? I don’t think so.  If two people love each other as much as they can but also respect the friendship within that love, I don’t think it matters if you have a ridiculous wedding, or a courthouse wedding.  If your heart loves that persons heart and their heart loves your heart, it’s the same isn’t it??

Looking back on your wedding day, what do you end up remembering the most?? The flowers, dresses, music and décor??

No. You remember the love and possibly the cake, depending on how good it was.

In the end I suppose none of that day matters, except that you decided one person was enough for you. Forever. That person is your other element.  Your lives mixed and became a life together, forming an entirely new element.  Alone, you were both strong, but together, you will always be stronger, as long as you face things together. As one element.

He is the hydrogen to my oxygen. Together we make water and forever our thirst for love will be fulfilled.  There will always be hard days, but the easy days will always win out.  Our love is strong but the respect is there, and will always be. 

Don’t forget why you chose to get married in the first place.  If it was for the flowers, dress, décor, cake and beer, I promise you, it’s not worth it. 

If it’s for the look he gave you when you first walked down the aisle, or the constant feel of two hearts beating during your first dance or silent, stolen kisses when no one is watching. Then maybe you have a shot at this. Those are the things that you will remember later. Those are the things that should still happen when your 40th wedding anniversary comes along and there are still stolen kisses, dancing, and the look he gives you when you come down the stairs in your party dress. 

And hopefully there will always be cake, because why not?  Love is a celebration in any form.



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