Chaos

I can’t believe how long it’s been since I wrote again.  I guess I have been pretty busy.  So Portland was a lot of fun.  We ate a lot, drank a lot, and walked a lot.  Luckily my work has conditioned me to walking a ton so it didn’t bother me at all.  We went to the zoo which was awesome and so tranquil.  We went to a concert which was fun although I didn’t like the seating situation and I haven’t been to a concert in awhile so I forgot how crowded they get and how everyone gets shoved in together.  We only stayed for a couple days but I would have loved to have gone hiking and explored so much more.  We spent a ton of money so now I’m definitely broke.  I’m even more broke since I went out last night.  Work has been hell, and maybe it’s just because I’m all out of my good pills so my anxiety levels are rising or maybe I’m getting burnt out but I just dread going to work everyday now.  I went out to a club with a bunch of people from work and I finally got this one girl I work with to come with me.  I don’t make a lot of girl friends so I hope I didn’t get too drunk and do anything to scare her off…or anybody from my work for that matter.  I feel like that always happens when I try to be social with people that I work with.  I end up embarrassing myself or do something I regret and then I have to see that person everyday.  I had fun though regardless if anyone thought I did something weird.  I talked to some people that I always walk past everyday and never say hello to…some guy dancing with me started kissing my neck and I got weirded out so I basically ran away.  I did invite my boyfriend out but he didn’t want to go so I at least made an attempt to involve him.  I just hope he’s not secretly mad that I went out without him anyways.  Other than that things have been pretty boring.  I’m barely speaking to Gregory or the guy that I used to work with so that whole excitement has gone away.  I still do have that restless feeling and I don’t know why.  At least I wasn’t hungover too bad today.  I felt like I drank a lot last night too.  I took an antacid before I started drinking because my face gets super red and it actually works and I think I can handle alcohol a little better when I take it.  It’s weird but true.  I’ve basically been relaxing all day today which is nice.  I finally cleaned up my room since it’s been a mess since I got back from Oregon.  I’m off tomorrow and then it’s back to another  5 days of hell.  I honestly think I need to make a serious change.  Just a major life makeover.  I’m already getting stressed just thinking about it.  One day at a time.  Starting with a little workout in a bit.  Until next time….

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