More drama, more bullshit. And a lot of fellatio.
My parents actually came all the way from Sweden with the intent of dragging me ‘home’. Apparently, they had a phone call with my former landlord, and found out that I made good on my word and moved out. The asshole gave them Ramsay’s number and a shitstorm followed. I didn’t speak to them myself, but we heard the dozens of messages they left out loud.
I’ve come to understand Ramsay’s thinking, it is completely useless to speak to them anymore. They want me back only because they want to control me. And when I don’t comply they cut me off. So I cut them back and I cut them off off permanently. I lost their numbers, I deleted my emails (all of them), I deleted Facebook, I deleted Instagram and my new number is unlisted and only a handful of people have it. I couldn’t contact them even if I wanted, which I don’t. Although they left several dozens of messages, mostly threats in Ramsay’s phone. So he burned it, the fucking lunatic, and now he doesn’t have a number at all.
We’re traveling at the moment ourselves, and hopefully they both fucked off back to Sverige by now. We’re both just kind or burned out from the bullshit, so we left. And because Ramsay doesn’t do so well with threats. He’s full of rage, it’s intoxicating. And I get so much pleasure from when he takes it out on me. All we’ve been doing is having a great time, mental connection, reflection, symmetry, and so much sex I feel like I should be taking the morning afterpill everyday. He says he needs stimulation, or he’s going to hurt someone. I laughed out loud, because I know how true that is. And sometimes his stimulation is hurting people. I love it when he brings his black mood to bed, it makes him cum so much harder when looks down on me trying to kill me with his dick. Ha! Well…I don’t mean to sound so crude or vulgar. Actually you know what? I don’t give a fuck. If you’re reading this shit, its only because I let you. Truth is, I like it when he fucks me painfully, and he’s got a big dick, best of all its so fat, which means the more pain the better. Not that it’s always painful, only when he’s in his dark mood then he covers my mouth and tears into me, he’s actually ripped me a little. It hurts when I pee. Not that I’m complaining. No, I’m not horny at the moment, I just sound like it because I feel so fucking free with him. For the first time in my life, I feel like I’m in control. And I can talk about it. My right nipple is so bruised he’s cut me from biting it so hard, and I’m still smiling.
I don’t know whether to know better, but I love this man. I’d walk into the fire with him, hand in hand. We’re going to have to go home eventually, Ramsay does have work, but for now it’s play time. And I think I’ll close this with one of his favorite lyrics that he’s always saying ‘at least I know, wherever I go, I got the devil beneath my feet’.