What did you do yesterday?
Yesterday – well yesterday I took a huge step forward in my life. I finally came clean to my parents about the details of my divorce. I admitted my ex was an alcoholic and that I was in debt and needed help. For a long time I didn’t want to admit to my parents how bad my marriage was, and how bad I fucked up. I finally bit the bullet and told them..I broke down and explained how I felt like I was drowning all the time, how I don’t even open my mail for fear of the credit card bills I racked up when my ex was spending all our money on alcohol.
They were surprisingly supportive, they didn’t chastise me or make me feel like a failure. My dad who is phenomenal with money sat down and looked at everything, helped me make a plan to pay them off and in the end wrote a check to each credit card company paying them off. I am not free and clear, my parents paid it off but I will pay them back each month for the next three years but at least it will now be interest free and I have a light at the end of the tunnel. I know I am extremely fortunate that my parents were able to write me a check for almost $10,000. Not everyone has that opportunity and for that I am forever grateful. I may have lost some independence and a whole lot of my pride but for once I think they see that it took everything I had to go to them and aren’t holding it against me.
My dad made me a budget that I think I can stick to that will get me back on the positive side, I might get a second job just to pay him back faster. I hate owing my dad money, it makes me feel like I am living under a microscope. My mom made a comment that made me think…I said I didn’t want to ask for help and she said
“Steph, I have the 4 things I need in life: 1) A roof over my head. 2) A car that drives. 3) Food on my table and most importantly 4) the ability to make my kids’ lives better. Steph there are a lot of things I have watched you go through that I can’t help with. Money is easy, we can help with that. Let’s us help you where we can.”
So that was what I did yesterday, I sat in front of my parents, swallowed my pride and asked for the help I should of asked for months ago. And I have to admit I slept last night without the help of sleeping pills for the first time in years.
*Be strong enough to stand alone, smart enough to know when you need help, and most importantly be brave enough to ask for it*