When do you feel most connected with yourself?
This question is an easy one to answer – I feel most connected with myself by water. Whether it be standing on the pier at the Cape or sitting on the porch in NH overlooking the lake I feel at peace.
My parent’s NH house is a log cabin type of house, it has a beautiful porch in the front that overlooks the lake. In one of my old entries I described that porch as one of my favorite places for the simple reason that sitting there is incredibly peaceful. The road is a private dirt road with very few houses so it’s quiet, you can hear the water from the lake when it’s choppy and the birds chirping. Even in the winter I grab a blanket and sit on the porch and watch the snow fall. I couldn’t feel more in tune with myself when I am there. I have cried, laughed and stared off into nothing on that porch and I feel so lucky to have a place like that to go to recharge when life gets tough.
I have always felt like myself when at the Cape house even when I was younger I would always sneak away to the beach and walk the pier. I would crave alone time there, something about it made my head clear. I have had many epiphanies at that very dock, something about the waves crashing, the boats going by and just looking out to see nothing but water makes me feel so small. It puts in perspective my life is just one of many, and I feel at peace. My world could be falling apart but standing there I feel okay, if only for a moment.
The cape house is sacred to me, I have only ever brought one man to that house. It was always my safe place and I didn’t want to ruin it with memories of men. My dad might sell it after next summer which breaks my heart. I can’t imagine not having it to go to, I spent summers there growing up, it’s a part of me. I am hoping to go for 2 weeks next summer to say goodbye…
*She is water. Powerful enough to drown you, soft enough to cleanse you, deep enough to save you*