Language Barriers

The last two days I have felt deeply misunderstood. I’ve always struggled with not having the language to fully emphasize my thoughts. As though the words I knew were inadequate. They lacked the passion I wanted or rather, needed. Now, though, it seems that they’ve gone as well. I’ve been told by more than one of my doctors that my body and my mind will fail under their current situation. My organs will work overtime to try and compensate for the lack of nutrient intake. They will tire out. They will weaken. They will fail. I have not completely grasped the severity that because I haven’t been able to “feel” it. I’m told that one doesn’t feel it…until they are dying. That didn’t have much of an impact on me, either. So while I knew this is what was going on physiologically, it didn’t match up. Not until yesterday. I started to realize that my inability to use language and carry on a conversation is a sign of my brain starving itself. But why is this still not enough for me to snap out of this bullshit?!

One thought on “Language Barriers”

  1. Kayle, are you not eating? is that what the doctor is warning you about? If it is, please eat and take a multi-vitamin. I had an eating disorder in 1992. I know how confusing it can be. I was in a bad place. If you are eating, then I’m not sure what the doctor was talking about. Maybe you can journal more and be more specific. I care. God bless you, Kayle.

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