December 2014.

December of 2014 was the stupidest month of my entire life. Let’s take it back to the summer of 2013. I was a senior in high school. I had just broke up with a boy i had been dating since i was in middle school. So i was very upset, hurt. and i just needed to move on. My friend Em Jarvs told me i needed to get out of the house and go to this party down the road. 

Thinking “fine whatever, i guess it would be nice to drink with some friends. and have a good time. That’s what i need.”  We got in my jeep and headed over to the party. When we got there, so many people were already there. Probably around 70. I started drinking a lot of vodka and coke. That night i got so drunk, i don’t remember anything. I woke up next to a guy named Devan the next morning not knowing how the hell i got there. That was my first mistake. (Take note that im not usually like this) The next weekend, same thing. and the next. and the next. 

Eventually, i started dating devan. Devan is a really nice guy. He has his faults but who doesnt. After that, i started hanging out with the wrong crowd. I got into taking LSD, smoking weed, drinking, and doing pills. I believe thats where i made my second mistake.

A few months later, decemeber 2014. Devan told me he had something in his room for me. I walk to his room and there it was. Sitting on his table. “I couldnt believe he got this” i said in my head. Knowing how stupid it would to be do knowing my whole family were addicted to this. I did it anyways. That was my third mistake. and a huge one at that.

I cant tell you how many times ive went through that story in my head and ask myself. Why? How could do that to myself? I want out. 

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