Well, I bit the bullet, and am back… yet again among the drones of Oprah’s Weight Watcher’s minions. Oh well, I had good luck 2 programs ago and thought I could do in by myself cheaper, and I got pregnant… so wish me luck! I swear I have an emotional attachment to this flub… but it’s time to cut ties, and for real this time. I refuse to purchase any more clothes, it’s getting colder out, and I can only fit into the cheapest capris ever made…. I won’t buy bigger. Did that once and it gave me permission to have double desserts. UGH.
So, hopefully this new beyond the scale stuff is productive. I hate to burst anyone’s bubble, but it doesn’t come with free lipo or tummy tuck… darn, I know. But maybe I get get the weight off I gained while on another program, and get back to where I was and NEED to be. Not only because of clothes and such, I don’t want my kids to be teased for having the fat Mom. I am afraid one of them already is getting teased because of me. Seriously makes me cry until I have no more tears left. Why can’t I just STOP EATING JUNK?!?! I swear dieting is harder than quitting smoking. It’s not like I just stop buying it and being around it. I know I can do it, I just have to remember why I am doing it, and know that I DESERVE to wear cute clothes, be here or my kids and that I AM WORTH IT! Depression keeps telling me I don’t deserve to be happy, and that I deserve to wear fat people clothes… I am better than that, and I realize that I want and can have better than that. It has to be ME who makes and sticks to the changes. Well, welcome to my new journey, and hopefully a lifelong journey that I stay on as much as possible.