My friend and her addiction…

I just recently reconnected with a girlfriend on facebook. we were inseparable 20 years ago… she had two daughters and then ended up having a set of twin daughters.. and moved away after getting divorced.. so we eventually lost contact with each other..

in that time she became addicted to crack… all her girls went to live with their dads..over a period of time and later in years.. and she later had a son with a new marriage.. think he is about 18 now.. I searched for her over the years.. but no luck.. and then during one of my searches one of her twins.. that has her identical name after her.. showed up on my search.. so I sent a message and even though they were about five or six when I last seen them.. they remembered that I had been her best friend…

I sent them numerous pictures that I had come across from when they were little babies etc.. and even became facebook friends with a couple of them..last week.. I see one of the twins reply to a comment and her moms maiden name appeared in that comment.. and im like  whoa.. my besty…  after all these years..

I clicked on her profile.. which was very new… and sent her a request to which she responded right away and then we exchanged numbers  and spoke by phone.. she spoke about sobriety and that she has been back in my area since February, ( 8 months)  … part of it in rehab..

her picture showed that she has had a rough time in life.. her mom who had always lived with her had taken her own life about three years ago.. wow.. that was a tough blow.. and I guess when that happened.. my friend just buried herself in drugs..

I was glad to hear that she was going to church… and I had told her that I had been going on weds evenings and sundays.. and that I would meet her at her church last night to check it out and to see her for the first time in ages as well..

she called me in the morning when I was on my way to work.. asking if I could come pick her up? that she had just broken open her daughters boyfriends safe  and in it was cocaine.. and she had helped her self and that the safe wasn’t fixable and that she wanted to leave the house could I come get her.. ummm no… im on my way to work…

I instantly felt so awful for my friend… that this drug had such a hold on her .. and that while she was making progress..  this would surely send her into a tailspin further backwards…apparently it was a big amount.. she called another “friend” who uses.. of course.. and that friend picked her up for an all day ride out..

she called me later that evening asking where I lived and if she could come over and “talk” to me…  I asked her if she was going home.. she said  yes but that she was scared…

I told her I would meet her and pick her up and talk to her and then take her home.. she agreed..

she got into my car .. and I could tell she had been using.. I offered to get her some food ..s o we stopped at a store and I got her something and we sat in  my car and  talked.. the whole time she was looking around.. thinking that a car was following us.. I assured her it wasn’t..

I brought up the fact that she is 46 now.. and has grand children.. and how that is a total game changer in life..and how  this is like midpoint of life for us at this age.. and people are dieing younger and younger… not living into 80’s and 90’s  years of age  anymore.. she started to cry… said she knew it was wrong to break open that safe and take off with the drugs inside.. and that it wasn’t the way she wanted to live anymore..

she tried a few times calling her daughter while sitting in my car  but the phone was shut off and went to voicemail.. my worry was that her daughter was gonna turn her away and not let her back in her house..where would I take her at that point.. I just couldn’t let her wander..  we didn’t even know for sure at this point if they knew that the safe had been broken into…

my adrenaline was pumping as we headed for  her daughters  house.. we drove by and saw that the daughter was home.. so I took her around the bend and let her off…told her to confess what she had done.. if it hadn’t already been discovered.. told her that she was only human.. and that humans do make mistakes  but that it this point she really needs to understand that grand children are blessings meant to save us from ourselves even.. and that if she wasn’t putting value into her own least put value on the love from her grand children..told her she was going to die if she continued her path.. told her that while I was no expert  and could not speak from experience , that at least I could tell her as her lifetime long time friend and as a mother and grandmother too.. that the heart within this woman I used to know  should not be walking the path she is walking which is so misguided..

what I do know… Is that people with addiction will tell you what you want to hear.. .. you will think that you are making progress and getting into their thought process.  and all   will be saved….. that is so not the case..  some of the time.. I was just hoping for that glimmer of a chance that everything she was hearing from me would stay with her in her mind and she would use that as a learning experience and not relapse anymore..

I can only hope…

so I dropped her off gave her hugs lots of them..  and told her I was a phone call away…

the safe incident was not known about  until after she got home..

her daughter gave her a drug test.. on the spot.. I guess to find out what all she had in her system..i don’t know if the missing safe subject came up before or after the drug test of if the missing safe was what prompted the drug test being given..

my friend called me a shortime after . I answered.. she was talking low.. saying that the boyfriend was tripping.. and that the safe was missing but she had told me it was hidden in the house .. I told her to come clean with it.. to which she replied that she would go get it cause his gun was in there.. .. well im sure that’s what he was tripping about more than anything…

not like he is going to make a police report to say his drugs and gun is missing .. because he looks like hes not even supposed to have a gun in his possession.. period.

wow..  who needs caffeine  when you got pure adrenaline pumping like a firehose thru your body.. wow.. ( talking about me )

I prayed for her last night in church.. and after church.. and  today… and I will continue to pray for her..

I told her that sobriety may be the hardest thing she ever has to do in life but with out it she wont have a life.. and she has to want it just as bad.. I told her I wanted my friend back.. and that I am here for her.. .. I wont enable her.. I aim to help strengthen her…

I love her dearly… and I can only hope and pray that she has enough desire to want to better her self and her life..

we were put back in touch for a reason… life is crazy that way sometimes..



One thought on “My friend and her addiction…”

  1. You were certainly very loving and patient with your friend. She is blessed to have you. I, too, hope that she will really turn things around and get on the right path. I’ll join my prayers to yours. You are a wonderful friend. She is SO lucky that you care like you do!

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