Struggling on

Discovered yesterday the reason for Harry’s screaming behaviour these past few days. Thankfully I don’t think it’s a reaction to the drama that has been going on here. More teeth have been coming through in Harry’s mouth and at the same time he’s been getting a fair bit of nappy rash. My mum said the when my older sister was teething as a baby she would also get terrible nappy rash. Harry has eczema and I’ve taken him to see GP’s a fair number of times! He has a bath emollient, a cream plus hydrocortisone ointment all on prescription, he can’t use ordinary soaps like Johnson’s baby bath or anything like that! Somehow the patch of nappy rash has lost all it’s surface skin, it’s just a completely red raw patch where are the skin has completely rubbed off 🙁 I have no idea how it’s gotten so bad but it looks dreadful. Harry has been screaming with pain 🙁 Every time I have to change his nappy and I have to clean the sore patch he literally screams and cannot stay still. What worries me is his wound is staining his nappy yellow, I am worried it’s becoming infected. I need to make a doctors appointment; I should have made it on the Friday when it became clear what the problem was because now I have to wait till Monday. I use Sudocrem every time I change his nappy and always have done since he was born. I have special nappy rash treatment ointment but I don’t think it’s suitable for an open wound which is what this nappy rash has now become 🙁 I just have to keep using the Sudocrem.

I now know exactly how my parents felt every time they saw the awful wounds I caused myself, I’m having trouble just looking at Harry’s nappy rash wound. I look at it and I know it hurts him, it goes right through me and I wish so much I could just heal the wound instantly! I hate seeing him scream with pain every time I clean it. Yesterday I left him an hour without a nappy whilst my mum was in work for a few hours. Luckily he only went to the toilet once and it was a little amount. But today when I left him without a nappy he went three times 🙁 Luckily my house has laminate flooring but Harry was still trying to run around. The third time he went was a considerable amount and he tried to carry on walking but he slipped on it and fell in it and was all soaked. He burst out crying and kept slipping over as he desperately tried to get up 🙁 I quickly ran off to run the bath whilst my mum stayed with Harry. I bathed him and my mum cleaned the floor. My dad just sat on the sofa watching us 🙁

My mum went to the cinema and I haven’t been able to leave him without a nappy because my dad is in bed and I can’t facilitate him not having a nappy completely on my own. Harrys just had a bit of a nap but I think he’s just woken up. My mum is still out at the cinema and my dad is still asleep 🙁 It’s been a really tough few days with Harry, I was feeding him till 11:30pm last night. I’d give anything for a break! I’d love a few days to sleep and relax! I couldn’t eat breakfast till nearly 2pm today again because of Harry being unwell with his nappy rash. I’m really hungry, tired and thirsty! And rather miserable to be honest. I love Harry so much of course, I’m just feeling extremely exhausted and don’t get much time to myself at all! 🙁

3 thoughts on “Struggling on”

  1. This picture is really lovely. To me a sleeping child is the most beautiful thing in the world. Your boy looks a lot like my Elsa, probably because of those big eyes. I hope he’s gonna get well soon. <3

  2. Its ok sweets these things happen, my youngest went through the same bad teething experience, bless her she was raw and like you I felt helpless too, just try not to panic and don’t put yourself down by saying you can’t deal with harry by yourself because you can hun. There’s this stuff you can get called metanium, its yellow and comes in a yellow tube, its about 3 pound but it works miracles! within 2 days the really sore and open skin on lil Gracie’s tush was healing and it was soothing for her too 🙂
    Don’t worry when Harry’s wandering around without a nappy there’s things you can do, put an old bed sheet down with all his favourite toys on there so he doesn’t want to move for a bit or if he’s really mobile swap his nappy for a makeshift muslin cloth one their super breathable and you can just wash it (just take a muslin cloth fold it into a triangle and wrap it around him).
    I wish your parents were far more supportive sweets (no offense meant I know they’re your parents) but it seems to me like they are bringing you down (unintentionally I hope) and you dont need that kind of negativity around you its making you second guess yourself.
    If your finding (I don’t know if you breastfeed or bottle feed or if he’s on “real” food yet) that Harry’s needing more milk/food I used to put a scoop of baby rice in the lil ones milk (especially my boy he was super greedy) and I tried all 3 of mine on proper food before the midwives said I should because baby food just wasn’t enough.
    Everyone needs a break sometimes sweets don’t feel guilty for that, your parents should be helping you more, I hope one day we could meet up I feel like you need a friend hun someone not as negative (though I do have my days but I’m more of a pessimistic optamist ha) as what you have at home right now, I literally live a half hour train ride from Cardiff central in Risca so if you ever feel like meeting up just let me know hun I’d be more than happy to 🙂
    Try to cheer up sweets we all get those days where its just too fecking much especially when the lil ones are not well its heartbreaking 🙁 I hope you get a break soon hun, do you have anyone to babysit at all? Even if its just for a few hours? I know all too well how even just an hour to yourself can help no end when your feeling stressed out, if you want to get in touch my email is (steff is my first name I use my middle name for my journal) I genuinely hope you do get in touch hun cos I think we could be friends (hope I’m not being cocky there) but anyway get in touch if you want hun I’ll answer 🙂 and chin up you can do this, everyone struggles with their first its a brand new scary experience for anyone.
    Hope to hear from you rebel and that Harry’s feeling better xxx

  3. Thank you firelily for your comment- Harry does have big big eyes! Elsa is a really nice name 🙂 I love sleeping babies too, they look so comfortable and peaceful and yes just extremely beautiful!
    Thank you very Darylanna 😀 I do have that metanium stuff and I did start using it, but I wasn’t sure if you could use it on broken skin so I went back to the Sudocrem! I might use the muslin cloth suggestion because I do have a fair few of those!! Harry doesn’t want to play with his toys, he prefers to climb the stairs or be in the kitchen opening the fridge, freezer and cupboards! That’s why it’s so difficult him being without a nappy because he doesn’t stop, he doesn’t even want to stop to eat! He does eat “real” food now and I breastfeed him. He loves breastfeeding still even though he’s sixteen months and only seems to want to eat bananas, grapes and cheese. Babysitting is obviously difficult because of the breastfeeding issue but I’m going to start letting Harry’s father’s family have him for one-two hours every weekend to see how Harry gets on. I also have a neighbour that has offered to babysit so I could always ask! I find it difficult to ask for things.
    I think with my parents it’s unintentional, my dad is extremely ill and has been since I was 12, he takes such heavy medication that he sleeps most of the time. My mum is recovering from cancer, she stopped receiving treatment in June, she’s not feeling very strong to do too much yet. It’s just all three of us in my house are ill so we make each other worse yet we’re all we have for support at the same time!
    Thank you for saying you wanted to be my friend! I will e-mail you 🙂

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