I think about the little things around meeting you. Not just the actual meeting but the buildup and the amazing thoughts I am taking away afterward. I think about recent moments and feelings from all perspectives of conversation, laughing, touching innocently, to touching not so innocently, to walking, to story telling, to playing games, to just staring. Waiting on a stoop while you would drive up, taking those last 50 meters of a walk to greet you. Every aspect. Without adrenaline, there would be no rush and I wouldn’t feel the rush in those situations. Yes, I might have to give up music in that “this vs that” scenario, but I would never want to give that up. Those moments burn into muscle and memory and is felt for a very long time. Those all feel amazing and great and why would I not want to feel more. Yes, I have to be fair but I am also expressing true feelings about the desire and want. It hurts to think about not having those so I think about wanting them. Maybe that is even unfair to me to even think about them but I do.