So today is a new day, a new week in fact. And things are happening, I went back to work after 2 weeks off (planned leave). I was actually worried about how I was going to manage today as I had some what of a melt down while I was off but it was good. It was good to be busy, to keep occupied and not worry about how things are going to turn out. Checking my emails today I have one from a charity in my area that I did a self referral to, basically checking in and informing me that they hadn’t forgot about me and that I’m still on the waiting list. I also had one from a friend who had wrote to a organisation she knows and had contacted on my behalf. Turns out they cannot find anything regarding this 3-6 months rule, which is making me feel….anxious I guess. Anxious because now there is no reason why they can’t offer me any treatment, so why aren’t they? Why are they neglecting (for lack of a better term) my needs and not giving me any support. I understand that I need to show willing, that I need to show that I want to get better, I get it, I really do. But even with the best will in the world every person who has this problem will need support. They will need some kind of treatment to get to the root of the issue. My friend, who wrote the email, she described the self harm as a symptom, a symptom of something bigger going on, and I had never thought about it like that. It makes sense, things cause me to do this and they needs to be addressed. It’s no good just treating a symptom.
I also got in touch with the PALS service, I felt it would be better to speak to them in person. With it being such a difficult situation to explain it might be better to talk to htme face to face, so I have an appointment with them Wednesday morning. So hopefully I’ll be on track to getting some proper help.