This streak has been starting and I do not want to break it. There is something incredibly healthy and freeing about this form of journaling. There is a level of comfort knowing your honest words are being read by complete strangers who know more about your insides than the costume we walk around the world with. Anyone can be happy and smile to a colleague when they ask you, “How’s life?”. But only the strong or the attention grabbers will be honest and say, “Really not well.”
Today was considerably a good day in my mind. I might not be falling asleep next to my love, but it was still a nice day. Despite the rain and boredom of work, I had pleasant conversations about things proper ladies should never say. The honesty of what woman really want to say or do but don’t because society would shame us for even considering such lewd behaviors. At times this liberty to discuss naughty things to another individual is soothing.
At the end of the day, we all just want to feel comfortable in our skin. We want to feel real and honest in our actions. To feel as though we control our movements and decisions.
In less than 5 hrs I have to be functional enough to drive myself and a colleague to school so we can work on our presentation which I feel as though I have contributed in no way. I am better at comforting my co-workers about their naughty behaviors than telling 4 people I spend 18hrs a week with that I would like to contribute in some way to the project. I shouldn’t be complaining, but it bothers me that I lack the ability to speak the truth of mind when it matters, but when it comes to the things no one dare says, I am iTunes on “Repeat All” mode.