It’s funny to know that my love life isn’t that easy. .

So.. I’ve been in a relationship with him for almost 8 months since the day I decided to give myself a chance to love somebody again. I can tell he’s a good, careful, determined guy. It would be great, if we could cuddle each other every night before sleep. The problem is the distance, yes, LDR sucks. 

The moments when we’re together is damn great. Talking to him makes my day. I do appreciate it, but it hurts me every time I realize that I can’t even stay by his side right there when he needs, I can’t kiss him, no matter how much I want to. I can’t have him when I’m weak. He can’t be right here to save me when I feel unsafe. Sometimes, It’s just too hard to fight alone 🙁

I can’t tell how I truly feel right now. Everything seems complicated for me. I love him,  I do care about him, but I care about myself  too. I don’t want to lose him, but I want to set both of us free. I just want us to be happy, live our lives.  

No matter what Mason, I’ll do my best ♥

“We meet for a reason, either you’re a blessing or a lesson.”

One thought on “LDR’s COMPLICATED”

  1. Totally get you!! it is so hard!
    Cause you wish you could just let the guard down and let him take care of you when you are weak, but you know you can’t. Cause he is far. Cause there is some sort of disconnection because of the distance. So you decide to make yourself stronger… but making yourself stronger makes you feel like you are somehow pushing him out of your life, and so you feel bad about that. So you go back to putting your softy mushy side out and put the stronger one away… but then it is so hard cause all the “i miss you, i love you” feelings wash on you like a giant crushing wave and that is so hard and you are so confused, cause you know you want HIM, but then the strange feelings of the “pushing him out” moment comes and… i don’t know, it’s like a vicious circle missing him, right!? 🙁

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