You looked miserable coming home from work today, so I reached out to hug you. But I saw that your mind was so occupied with other things.
I cooked your favorite meal, homemade fettuccini with glazed chicken strips in a white wine alfredo, while slow dancing in the kitchen to our music. But it sat there, alone while you headed to get ready. What were you getting ready for?
After knowing you for as long as I have, I am not used to you taking longer than usual in the shower. You didn’t even dry your hair that well, something you always stressed to me when I was in a hurry. The perfume you wanted so badly, you skipped right passed it. I thought you liked it? You told me that it was your favorite.
Why are you rushing? Why aren’t you talking to me? You grabbed your things and headed out the door.
I followed after you, running as fast as I can go to keep up. A few blocks behind us, I finally gave in to fatigue. I headed back and cleaned up.
I waited. I was upset and hurt but I still waited. Then finally, the door opened. You looked trashed. Are you okay?
You finally sat down next to me and asked, “Why did you leave me? I thought you loved me”.
I do! What are you talking about?
Tears tore down your face with each gasp of air. It hurt me to see you this way. Please don’t cry.
“I’m sorry that I wasn’t perfect for you.”, you admitted.
“You’ve always been perfect to me.”, I reassured.
“All I see…all I can feel is what was left of us. You left me and now I am nothing”!
The pain and anger burned what little love you had left for me.
It’s true, I did leave. All the times I did the small things for you, you brushed aside and expected it every day. Where was my attention? Why wasn’t I loved by you the same I gave? Either way, I still love you.
I miss you every day. I really do. But there does come a time where you hold on to the things you can and let go the things you have to. I’ll always hold on to you, like that hug you love.
Remember our first kiss? Did you know I replay it all the time? Or when we danced in the middle of the night with the moon spot-lighting us? Those little things I’ll hold on to. The hatred of me leaving, our heated arguments, and the petty fights we have gotten into, yeah… we can let those go.
Always remember, this isn’t the only life you’ll live. I’ll be waiting for you on the other side, like I usually do. I Love You more than you’ll ever know! Always will.