I’m honestly a little nervous about this. I’m starting up a YouTube channel because I see how much fun my son and I have coming up with stories on Minecraft (Electronic Legos just in case you didn’t know). I am getting some things together so we can record our first video together.
I used to work at a Children’s Hospital for three years. Some would always come into the clinic scared to death but by the end, they didn’t want to leave. Even if I was having a horrible day, there was always one child that made me smile. After my major mental breakdown last year, I had to quit my job that I loved so much. I can’t stop thinking about making another child smile again. My son and I have so much fun together and I will never take that for granted. But what about the other kids that don’t have that interaction or the ones who don’t have friends? It reminds me of “My Forever Friend”.
When I was a teen, I contemplated suicide. My dad was abusive and my mom couldn’t do much but help tend to my wounds. I hated everything about my life. My sis and I are close but even she felt something was off about me. I also lost a really great friend to suicide and I figured, “Why Not”?
It wasn’t until I went Christmas Caroling at our local hospital that I found the hope I needed. A little boy who was going through chemotherapy kept looking at me. After singing, I approached the kid and we began talking. He asked silly questions and I humored him by answering them with quick-witted remarks. One question he asked, “What’s it like to be a grown up”?
I looked at him and told him it’s not really fun (because as a teenager, I knew everything).
All he did was just look at me and just smile. I couldn’t understand why a child, going through so much chemo, was so happy. His only wish was to grow up to be a thousand years old and have as much fun as he can. For that moment, I couldn’t help but smile with him.
Shortly after the New Year, I saw the same boy again. The one who gave me hope…in the obituary section of the newspaper. You guessed it…I cried, a lot. I knew that he was out of pain and that he was in a better place. I cried mainly because I didn’t know how to keep the promise I made him.
I promised him that I was going to smile and laugh as much as I can and live to be a thousand. We know we can’t live to a thousand but to smile and laugh the way he did…that took years of practice. Even now, I catch myself talking to my “Buddy” and asking him if I’m doing it right.
That’s why I wanted to start the channel. Being scared is normal. Being silly is normal. But living…there are so many ways to mess it up and hit it on the mark… that it’ll take “A Thousand Years” to figure out all the possibilities, maybe more.
I don’t have many people to talk about this and some may be thinking, “Dude’s trying to find people to like his stuff”. I could honestly care less about it. I see my son smile the way he did and I don’t want him to lose that. I don’t want to lose that.
Thank you… for reading my rambles. My only hope, out of a billion kids, that I can be considered a “Forever Friend” to at least one.