So my name is Jaime, im 24 years old. I have dealt with my eating disorder, BPD, and Bipolar depression for over a decade. I am in love with my wonderful boyfriend that has given me a promise ring, that soon one day he will purpose to me. I am in college for dog grooming and I have two amazing dogs. That is a little bit about me before I continue.
Today has been a hard day, just like last night. Brian, my boyfriend, had to leave to go to his grandmothers before having to enter Trosa, a drug and alcohol long term rehab that was court ordered. He will be away for two years and he had to leave last night as well as his dog that has also been staying with us. I can even go upstairs to our room(we/I live with my mom still) without being able to smell him on his pillow. It is braking my heart. I miss him so much, I don’t know how im going to be away from him for two years. Sadly my first thought is wanting to numb out by either cutting or not eating, but I know that’s not a wise choice. Its just so hard to stay away from my demons when im so vulnerable. Distraction is a huge necessity at the moment, but the second im not, the pain floods me with emotion that I feel like I cant handle. Well I guess thats all for now.