Feeling Homesick

Yeah, I grew up always surrounded by coconut trees and endless beaches. I despised it and couldn’t wait to get away from there. The people moved at such a slow pace, it irritated me. But looking back at it, I miss it more and more.

All my life, I would climb my mango tree and pick the fruit while watching the sunset. It was as orange as the fruit I bit into. The seasons always baffled everyone here in the States, summer and monsoon. It was a constant 87 degrees F and the evenings were a cool 73. The smell of grill smoke blanketed the island on Sundays. I always considered this place a prison.

When I moved to the states back in 2003, I was cultured shocked and I loved it! I didn’t run into a relative or anything, for once I was in the company of strangers. There were a lot of interesting people and some knew nothing of my home. My favorite question that is always asked is, “Do you speak English”? I always look at them with a smile and tell them just a little (it took me years to hide my accent and of course I knew English). Some other favorites were “Do you live in huts?” or “Is it true that you eat people”? It always put a smile on my face and never offended me.

With my parents aging and things finally settled with the Dissolution, my “Pops” keeps hinting to me to come home. It took me 13 years of being here to really realize I do miss home. But like leaving the house, there is always something we forget to grab. That has always been my driving force to stay here (besides my son) and fulfill this mini mission of mine.

I love traveling and experiencing new things in different states. The food is phenomenal in some while others are so intricate. I’m used to seafood, rice, and fruits. 

But yeah, going back. I still feel there is something I need to do here in the states before I can really go home. I carry my home with me in my veins and I’m passing it along to my son. I still listen to my “Island Music” and put people at ease being around them. I love that feeling…it’s like leaving a Sunday service or reading a Great Book. You are left with this feeling of nostalgia and beg for more.

I feel home trying to pull me back but I know I’m not ready just yet. I don’t know what it is I’m supposed to find or experience but at least I’m enjoying the ride.

6 thoughts on “Feeling Homesick”

  1. I love the sound of where you come from! Wow the mental images i conjured from reading this post has made me want to book a holiday pronto lol

    But I totally understand that you had the need to spread your wings. Lovely to hear that you feel almost fulfilled before you are able to return to the place you still call home. That’s amazing x

  2. Open_book it really is a nice place! Thank you and hopefully you’ll be able to book a trip to escape the weather. I love the cold but I love the surfing just as much.

  3. I loved this. I love how you said that you are keeping your home with you in your veins, and that you are passing it along to your son. You’re really good at writing! Keep writing and being amazing!

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