Being a Sugar Baby Ain’t Easy

Something I didn’t mention in my ‘Meet Me’ Journal is that I am a sugar baby. Being in college is not easy, when you have so many responsibilities and your on-campus job pays little to nothing. So I decided to become a sugar baby. My daddy’s name was Will. Recently, he left me. I’m angry, because I just found out today. He wasn’t even decent enough to tell me that he no longer wanted anything to do with me.

In the beginning, our relationship was okay. I met him online. I was house-sitting for my high school Chem teacher. He picked me up outside of her house and fucked me. I was nervous because you never have sex on the first date. He wanted to test out the goods, but there are many trade-offs to letting a daddy hit on the first date. He loses respect for you, he might not like what you have to offer and you may never hear from him again. But I let him hit anyway. I made him use a condom, but he couldn’t stay hard with it on. He was like “What’s wrong? Why won’t it say in?” In my head, I’m thinking I don’t know. I’m only 18 and I’ve had sex a few times before this. So, he took off the condom and fucked me raw.

I fell asleep and I was awaken by him after a few hours and he took me home. He didn’t pay me. A few nights later, he called me over and we had sex again. This repeated one more time and he finally started giving up some cash. Each time after that, he would give me $100 for spending the night with him. He told me that I was so “accommodating” and “sexy”. I assumed that I was doing everything right.

Until one night, he looked me in my eyes and critiqued everything about me. He told me that I needed to lose weight. That was something that I had been struggling with for a long time. I’m not fat, I’m curvy with a small pudge. So for him to have been saying I was beautiful and sexy and he loved looking at me, then change his mind and say I need to lose weight, it was a complete slap in the face.

Then he told me that I need to start talking like a college student. I felt like that was an insult to my intelligence. I feel like when you’re around people you feel very comfortable with, you don’t think about grammatical or tense errors. I was so embarrassed. I felt like I needed to change everything about me.

I started trying to spice up the sex by sleeping naked in his bed with him. He photographed me and posted the pics on the internet. I called him and asked him to remove them. He made me feel like crap and he finally removed the photos. And today I find out that he unfriended me on Facebook.

All this drama I put up with for a few hundred dollars. I feel stupid.

5 thoughts on “Being a Sugar Baby Ain’t Easy”

  1. You most certainly aren’t stupid. Mistakes are how we grow and learn. Granted yours is not the path I would take, but I think you should celebrate who you are NOW not who you will be in the future. Don’t let people use you like that and never let them put you down.

  2. Dont let some douche bag rich fuck bring you down like that. You know how beautiful and amazing you are you don’t need his word to solidify anything

  3. 18 is for learning to navigate life. Don’t feel bad for giving yourself something to learn from.

    Also, the posting of the pictures and criticizing of your weight was a power move. He obviously wants someone he can dominate, who will be exactly what he wants them to be… someone that he can say “your hair would look better if it was shorter,” and they get it cut the next day. If that’s not you, then you’re not what he needed and he wasn’t what you needed. No harm, no foul.

  4. You’re not stupid, This man sounds like he struggles with himself and needs to deflect onto someone else. Whether you have pudge or not, the only person’s opinion who matters on your body is your own. I have struggled with my weight my whole life and have finally started to love my body. It’s a freeing feeling, 18 is the time to make mistakes, learn who you are and move forward. Don’t be too hard on yourself, you will most certainly be a better person for your mistakes now.

  5. I toyed with the idea of being a sugar baby once but I was too shy and socially awkward.

    You are not stupid, please do not say that about yourself. The man is an inconsiderate prick.

    You’re still young and still experiencing different stages of identities and life. Instead of seeing it as a negative thing (unless it is so bad), try see it as an experience and a lesson.

    I feel old for saying this lol but that’s how I see things. To me, life is always about experimenting and find yourself.

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