Broken No More

We met as kids at our dads’ softball games
Played in the dirt and called each other names
I admit as a teenager I made you the butt of jokes
And made you do tricks in exchange for smokes
You gave me your number two years before that first night
But you were just 17, I was 21, the timing just wasn’t right
Then came the night when you were 19 and I was 23
We talked and flirted and then you kissed me
Told you I had a bad experience, you said I’m not him
How could I be so smart yet you made me act so dim
Still I gave into the passion, that night was so fun
I was left with the feeling that something had begun
A few months later we really got things going
But there were so many things I went without knowing
Like how bad were the drugs and the trouble with the law
I turned a blind eye to all but what I saw
So it continued, I’d feel used and we’d fight
I fell in love with you though I knew it wasn’t right
The heart wants what it wants so I suffered in silence
Physically fine but broken down by your emotional violence
It all came to a head at my birthday celebration with my friends
You fucked up the whole evening and I knew that’s how it ends
Push came to shove and finally I had enough
I broke away from you even though it was tough
Later that year heard you were in rehab, I wanted to reach out
Wondered if maybe you’d become the guy I had dreamed about
No one could get me an address for the place
So then I thought it better done later face to face
Then got word you were sent to jail so I wrote a letter
You responded quickly, explained some and said you were better
I went in to visit you and I’d never seen your eyes so clear
We’d reconnected but you’d be locked up most of the year
We continued to write and talk on the phone
It felt like the fates had thrown me a bone
You said you loved me and maybe we’d get our own place
You said all the right things with humility and grace
It was all lies as I would soon see
I wasn’t as stupid as I once seemed to be
I managed to bust you not once but twice
Thanks to two people who did me so nice
Cold hard truth, I now knew where I stood
Everything was over, this time for good
All the bullshit you put me through made me so afraid
I couldn’t open my heart to another for nearly a decade
You sucked enough from my life, I won’t let you win
I’m finally open and ready to let a real love begin

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