I fucked up my life.
I feel like I have no options when in fact I have many.
I choose to believe that this is over because I’m tired of being disappointed, yet I do nothing to find a solution.
I have spent my time being lazy, fearful, afraid to work, afraid to interact, afraid of the unknown, and afraid of what is known.
Often what I think is something to fear, is actually nothing to be afraid of.
I am smart, I know the difference, I am logical.
So why am I afraid?
Am I actually afraid or have I built habits that make me feel afraid?
Is this all in my head?
I don’t know anymore. But I do know I have a second chance.
I have a chance to live a life, get a job, pay my way, plan for my future, and take hold of who I am.
And who am I? Well, I’m not sure.
I’m a boy. I’m human. I am weak. I am strong.
I just need to get through this.
I can get through this.