U know? as I sit here and write…I think of all sorts of things that take place in my existence….
And I come to realize that…the longer I live…the more complicated my life becomes….go figure.
You would think…that it would get less complicated?
But events enter and depart from your lives in so many different ways…that you become confused as to what is the right things and the wrong things?
So you (or I do) just decide to roll with the flow…until the situations changes…or something happens to make them change.
I still think about him almost everyday…especially when I am alone…and I pray when that happens…not because I want to forget him…but to set him free from my thoughts and dreams.
GOD…has my Boaz out there somewhere for me…I feel it…I know it. And someday we will find each other.
But the love I feel for him right now…is strong. Perhaps it is because…he is the one that awakened that part of my psyche…after so many years….IDK?
But my flesh is weak….so I have to depend on the only person I know that can fight those feelings….and that is “MY GOD”.
And the “HOLY GHOST” will teach me how to balance those feelings…or remove them from me all together….I am trusting in that.
HE has so many times brought about that result in me…and I see no reason why HE wouldn’t do it again.
But that is not the only feelings HE will have to balance out in me….and show me the way through.
I have this desire now…where as before…it was absent in my emotions.
So the playing field for me has changed.
I still am very particular about who I am willing to give my body too…and now even more cautious…who I give my heart too?
It is a paradox I fear…because I am the kind of woman that needs to be loved…and wanted…and protected.
But at the same time…there are so many perimeters that surround it.
I fear that there is no one that can penetrate and make me believe again?
I don’t doubt that there is another man out there that will make me feel the same way as Memory did.
It is just a matter of time…and will he be strong enough to meet those perimeters head on? And will he be willing to try’in overcome them with me.
LOL…it will be interesting to see….because we are all…not what we appear to be on the outside.
There is always our other side…that no one sees or knows
….you know the one that shows up in the still of the night…when we are revaluating the paths of our lives? Yeah! that one…LOL
Well I guess we will just have to wait and see…won’t we.
Enough of my life’s philosophies….LOL…
So I will just say….here’s hoping your life is less complicated than mine. AND WISHING THAT YOU HAVE A GREAT ONE.