broken and lost

its been 16 days since you broke up with me. And here iam, still on the road of moving on and trying to be strong. We’ve had the most wonderful year of happiness together but i didnt know everything will fall to the ground so soon. When we first met, we laid everything to the tables. Your past and imperfections as well as mine. You were a divorced man with 2 kids. You came off from a very messy separation, yet i chose to love you. I was helpless from falling from your sweetness and goodness. Then came the dark clouds, you didnt even meet me and say it to my face when youre breaking up with me. You sent me thE message “we cant continue being together anymore” you said people are working to fix you with your ex even if you dont want anymore…for the kids you said. So they wont suffer. My heart was broken. Does it have to be this way? Is this the only way? I thought. But i knew your mind was set. I knew what pressure you were under. So i gently let go of you not because i dont love you but because I do love you so deeply i dont want you to regret anything. I was tearing up inside, letting go of the love ive found was shattering me to pieces. This is for the kids i say to myself…and now more than two weeks passed and you said sorry for hurting me and you find it hard forgetting us. And that you are trying to do what others are telling you to do. I hope my love you will not let others think for you. And that you will search deep within yourself for the solutions and stand to it. It breaks me to see you so unhappy because i know im feeling it. I still miss you and love you. But i know this is something you need to do without me in your life. Its hard to learn being alone and doing things by myself, but i have to at least show you im alright. I pray for you dear. For us. For what weve lost. And partly hoping that somehow…someday…if we are for eachother, things will fall into the right places and god and destiny will bring us together. If god has other plans for us, i hope it is where we will be fully happy. My goodness, i miss you my love, how can this ever stop?

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