holding-hands

my best friend that used to be..

i had the same best friend for years, since i was about 10. maybe even younger. i thought nothing could ever break us apart. hell, we were more like sisters. they always say that you lose your best friend once you go to high school. i knew that wouldn’t be true about us. we were family. we beat the high school stereotype. which i knew we would. we had the average teenage fights but nothing fully came between our friendship. she always had this dream of becoming famous one day. i honestly never understood why she would want that. she would always say that one day she would move to california. i never thought it would actually happen, she would plan her move and it would get postponed. i secretely hoped that it would get postponed forever. well, the date was set for good. she was actually moving. everything was set, it was actually happening. i never been one to express my feelings well. especially when it came to people i loved and meant a lot to me. the time kept creeping up but it didn’t seem real. i still had a hope that something would come up to postpone her farewell once again. well this time is was for real. she was really going. her last day here came a lot quicker that expected. i said my goodbyes. more like i hope to see you later. it still wasn’t hitting me that my best friend was leaving. the person i was with just about every day. i knew we would talk but it would never be the same. she was really gone. it didn’t actually hit me until a few weeks after. knowing that she wasn’t coming back. she was gone. she was still my best friend but she wasn’t here. it wasn’t the same…..

time went on. was went from talking every day to every other day. then maybe every few days. eventually it was maybe once a week. and now, we rarely talk. when we do talk, i feel like i don’t even know the person i’m talking to. she isn’t the person she used to be. i don’t even know her. i don’t think she even knows me anymore. she is far from the person that used to be my best friend. the person that was like a sister to me. the person that knew my whole life, inside and out. i don’t even know who she is. she’s not my best friend.

losing your best friend has to be one of the worst feelings in the world. it give you an empty part inside you where your person used to be. a hole where that person belonged. i feels like you have no one. you are alone. traveling the world, life all by yourself. with no one to turn to. i know she would be there if i needed her. but then again so would an acquaintance.

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