After a long time of feeling strong, last night i finally broke down and cry. All those tears i wanted out finally started flowing. I was so afraid of losing him…of not seeing him…of knowing i wont hold his hand of hear is laughter…i was so afraid of losing contact with him. It all went crashing down. I feel terrible. So unsure of the outside work. So afraid to see all those places where our memories haunts. I still miss you and God i wish it didnt have to feel like this..