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Numb to it all…

What do i do ?
Its like life keeps going and all I can do is watch. I’m just stuck, watching the world go round and round. I’m sitting at work, mindlessly looking at my computer while the phone is blaring with phone calls from parents. The buzz of school being let out and all the kids are running around me and trying to find their parents and get home. All I can do is watch and listen. I feel nothing. I feel empty. I feel lost.
Is it wrong to crave love? To crave something more then friendships. All my life I’ve taken care of people, cared for people, loved people. But now I just want someone to care about me like I’ve cared for others. Is that wrong? Do you ever get tired of caring about others and wonder if anyone cares about you?
Why do other people get this wonderful happiness and greatness and I get this empty feeling in the pit of my heart? Is it so wrong to want to be “fixed” to be “healed” by someone else. For someone to love me, hold me. I want to come home to someone cook for them, hold them and be held by them. I want someone i can go and tell them about this major head lac a kid got at school today, how he fell head first into a curb and we had to call the ambulance because he definitely needed stitches.

5 thoughts on “Numb to it all…”

  1. It’s okay to feel like you do. I personally am experiencing those feelings however in different circumstances. Please remember, you are not alone, if you look closely you may realise there are people going through the same that you may already know. Perhaps take the time to look out for them, then maybe you could connect and heal each other. Just a thought, take care of yourself x

  2. Thank you. But I really wish it was that easy. I rather hide behind an online journal than show the “real” me. Because in other people eyes I’m a strong, well put together person! Ironic isn’t it?

  3. Very sorry, because from here growing your problems, people are not take seriously such persons , who don’t love and don’t accept yourselves on the spiritual level.

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