All I’ve been doing is looking after Harry and housework around him, constantly. So much so my knee suddenly had a massive pain and I couldn’t walk on it anymore. I got my mum to bring me painkillers and I managed to get up 20 minutes later but I still can’t bend it properly 🙁 I’m SO tired and I wish I had some time to relax or something. Harry has fed from me five or six times today. His bottom is really sore again 🙁 I just feel so pointless I really do. I do things and I feel like I haven’t done anything, that I’m being lazy, that nothing I’m doing is good enough and I’m just questioning what the hell is the point of me really. Urgh I just feel so insignificant and pointless, no one really wants me around, I feel like even Harry hates me and it wouldn’t matter if I wasn’t there anymore. It wouldn’t matter to anyone around me at all, it really honestly wouldn’t would it 🙁 Why am I still here, why do I bother to suffer here every second of every day, what the hell for if I don’t even matter.
I left the note for you to find
I’d been carrying around the words in my heart,
And although they now glow on paper
They still scream for your forgiveness.
I left the door wide open
And enchanted by the spell of the night
I let the stars guide me out of reach,
Out of reach of the entire world.
I left my happiness in the past
So it no longer has any significance,
As my selfish, filthy blood drains away
My soul is lost to the wind.
I left my body in the silver moonlight
My last breath fading into the heavens,
My lifeless hand leaving the knife to fall
But I’ll be falling forever.
I left you all behind
I could see your faces in my tears,
I told you I was sorry and loved you all so much…
In the note I left for you to find.