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“Suicide Note”

All I’ve been doing is looking after Harry and housework around him, constantly. So much so my knee suddenly had a massive pain and I couldn’t walk on it anymore. I got my mum to bring me painkillers and I managed to get up 20 minutes later but I still can’t bend it properly ๐Ÿ™ I’m SO tired and I wish I had some time to relax or something. Harry has fed from me five or six times today. His bottom is really sore again ๐Ÿ™ I just feel so pointless I really do. I do things and I feel like I haven’t done anything, that I’m being lazy, that nothing I’m doing is good enough and I’m just questioning what the hell is the point of me really. Urgh I just feel so insignificant and pointless, no one really wants me around, I feel like even Harry hates me and it wouldn’t matter if I wasn’t there anymore. It wouldn’t matter to anyone around me at all, it really honestly wouldn’t would it ๐Ÿ™ Why am I still here, why do I bother to suffer here every second of every day, what the hell for if I don’t even matter.

I left the note for you to find

I’d been carrying around the words in my heart,

And although they now glow on paper

They still scream for your forgiveness.

ย 

I left the door wide open

And enchanted by the spell of the night

I let the stars guide me out of reach,

Out of reachย of the entire world.

ย 

I left my happiness in the past

So it no longer has any significance,

As my selfish, filthy blood drains away

My soul is lost to the wind.

ย 

I left my body in the silver moonlight

My last breath fading into the heavens,

My lifeless hand leaving the knife to fall

But I’ll be falling forever.

ย 

I left you all behind

I could see your faces in my tears,

I told you I was sorry and loved you all so much…

In the note I left for you to find.

3 thoughts on ““Suicide Note””

  1. ((Hugs)) It’s just a bad moment. It will pass. Harry does love you & he needs you. Close your eyes and imagine Harry going on with his life if you died?

    Can you see his pain? His sorrow? He’d always wonder why you could not stay for him. He would think that there was something wrong with him. He wouldn’t have his mom to share in all of his best moments in life. Don’t leave him with a hole in his heart.

    Tomorrow will be better!

  2. Dont do it pleasee…every story must grow old ,the road can be hard YES no man is an island ,cant you see that your what he has and loves!! your bigger than you think ,here you are going throw the time ..suffering and what not .. i am really sorry this is happening to you ,just know that there is always hope.

  3. Thank you so much therealgoddessianna and Pink Lemonade for your comments ๐Ÿ™‚ I definitely know Harry needs me no matter what…I’m feeling a bit better…I get hellishly bad days ๐Ÿ™ but yes they’re bad days that pass ๐Ÿ™‚ I’m hoping it’ll be ok.

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