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I’m a survivor

It really honestly has been a rough few days, but I’m still here. Harry and I have been invited to Aneurin’s first birthday picnic tomorrow and I’m really looking forward to it after these days of feeling so mentally sick 🙁 Harry’s Tuesday Spanish class has been stopped because not enough people were going so they couldn’t finance it anymore. My mum and I tried taking Harry to the Saturday class but it was a hell of a lot more crowded and people (even the kids!) were so rude and looking down on me and Harry. When Harry started crying they were shushing him and my mum has to take him out and we didn’t go back in the class. A kid who must have been three was pushing Harry’s hand off one of the classrooms little green chairs and kept moving it away from him. I’m not going back, I definitely preferred the Tuesday class! This Saturday one had wayyy to many people and it was so crowded. All the kids were older. It’s such a shame. My mum complained that the parents were being unfair and rude, that Harry was one of the younger ones and shouldn’t have been told to shut up, the other kids were at least two or three 🙁

Harry was really unsettled this evening anyway. He didn’t have his nap because we tried to take him to the Saturday Spanish class. I did try get him to have his nap a few times but he was too restless. Eventually though he just screamed and screamed. He only wanted me to hold him, so I held him for ages! I put him in his cot tonight at 9pm and he’s been asleep since then thank goodness! I do hope he’s ok 🙁 It’ll be nice for the both of us to go to Anuerin’s birthday party tomorrow 🙂

I still feel pointless and hopeless but…no matter how bad I think I am, Harry knows I’m his mother and that he needs me.

  1. I am not judgemental
  2. I am a good listener

One thought on “I’m a survivor”

  1. I’m glad that you have something nice to look forward to. I know that you are on a limited income, but maybe setting up little treats to come that you look forward to will help give you a little ray of sunshine. Make them silly little things that you like… a bubble bath? Taking Harry some where you like to go. Whatever might put a smile on your beautiful face. And yes, you are beautiful!

    I know you’ll get through this and I know it is none of my damn business, but I want you to enjoy the journey. You deserve it.

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