November 5th 2016

I woke up feeling down as usual. I just wanted to feel better even for a short time so I went out for a run. I had been slacking off on running recently. Running is hid or miss. It sometimes give me a high feeling but it can totally drains out of me. I just needed to do something this morning.

It was such a cold morning. I just tried not to think anything, focus on running. I could keep going and ran 5k.

It has been in a while since I felt this good. Running sure did life up my mood.

Right now,I am not feeling high but feeling good…more calm and relaxed in a way. This feeling is what I want for a long term. I miss the feeling high but I know I need to deal with the downside with it. It is a trade off.I have not felt high for a long time since I started my medication 2 months ago. I have been feeling down a lot but not irritated like used to be. It was a horrible feeling as well. The medication I take helps me to stabilize my mood.

I finally finished the introduction part a little while ago. I just wanted to complete something since I have not been able to stick with anything recently. I wanted to feel some kind of achievement. I think I really needed it.

I am on day 19 for the morning ritual. They say I need to keep up with it at least for 3 weeks to see some kind of change. So far, not really.. but It wont hurt anything so I am planning on doing that.

1) Write down 3 acts of gratitude

I am grateful to my student Natsumi chan for taking my lessons. I am grateful for my neighbors for being quiet at night. I am grateful to Charlene for being concerned about my condition.

2)Write down one positive experience that occurred the past 24 hours as detail as possible.

I had a relaxed and pleasant time at the pool yesterday. The stuffs were nice and greeted me with smile. I always have a good time there.

3)Exercise for 15 minutes or more     I ran 5k for 30 minutes

4)Meditation                                           I did 6 minutes with Ipod

5)Write a letter to someone to express gratitude  

Dear my friend Nori-chan,  Thank you for having me for 3 days last month. I was not feeling well but you were so considerate and helpful to take me places. I hope our friendship will last forever no matter where we are. You are such a great friend to me. Thank you.

2 thoughts on “November 5th 2016”

  1. I wake up feeling down on a lot of days. So much so that I cannot even will myself to exercise. What you are doing is great, and I admire your dedication. Good luck and I hope you continue on this path to happiness.

  2. Thank you for your comment. All I try to do is not to think anything. Once I stop to wonder, I know my thoughts would take over me…

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