I know you may not understand this now but maybe when you are older you will get this letter. Do you know how to tell how much I love you? I stay alive. If you were not here I would not be here either. I know that I am not the perfect mother but I do try with all that I got. I remember when I was younger I would get so mad at my mother because she made mistakes and was not always the best mother in my eyes. I did not understand or allow her to be any thing other than a mother, but she was also a person too. Her life was sad and painful for so long. Sometimes it is harder than you know then sucking it up. You make me so happy and I am the proudest mother. However I am Tia and not just Mom and my heart has been shattered and my life is and has been so hard. I am doing the best that I can. So this is how much I love you? Sometimes when you want to play with toys with me?, on the inside I am falling apart but I smile and I play with toys you. When you need dinner and I am so sick I can not even eat, I cook you a healthy meal and serve it to you on clean washed dishes and sit with you at the table and talk to you. I even pretend I am eating too. When I am awake alone and crying at night and you wake up from a bad dream you had I wipe away my tears and hold you and sing you back to sleep. It is these things in that you will know I have and will always love you more than anything ever.
Love always Mom