How did I let this happen. Somehow he found a way into my life again. I really thought it was over for good this time.
He begged and begged and told me how much I meant to him and how he just wanted to be in my life again. So I let him in, just like that. How can we love someone so much we let them destroy us over and over again? I feel like I can’t breathe when I am loosing him, like there is no reason for me to be living if I’m not going to be with him. What is the point? I mean I’m never going to feel for someone the way I do for him. No one will ever be my home like he is, his skin merges with mine when we are together. We are the two halfs of a whole.
He is just too young and free. He still wants to escape from life and run away with his friends where as I am ready to begin a family and build a life for them. I am trying to let him go, go off and enjoy being free without the feeling of disappointing me. But what if we doesn’t come back to me. What if all of us was for nothing? The last year and a half of my life being torn to pieces over him to just be another ass hole who fucked with me? What was the point. Why can’t my heart move on.