He was tired and not himself. He only just realized this on this way home at the end of the day. He was due to arrive in 15 minutes and he had to turn into that charming host everyone expected, an act he had perfected by now. He wasn’t confident he could pull that person out of himself by the deadline, however, as HE was in a very deep sleep in the basement of his mind. . . He needed a good rest so he could perform as expected. He felt the pressure of this daily and was not sure how much longer he could bare it. The falseness of it all was over whelming. He no longer needed to become that person for protection.
He thought of his old friend and the escape he offered. He craved that release. All the fog would lift and so would he. With a feeling of weightlessness he would float outside and above himself and all the others free from there penetrating and heavy energy. His cares would be gone and he would finally have peace. It would be in that special place in the air where the flowers grow under an impossible blue sky that he would be free, if only for an instant.
He was really tired of feeling uncool. Who was this responsible, dedicated, and professional person? It didn’t feel like him at all because it truly wasn’t….he remembered walking into all of those rooms and commanding everyones eyes with a single movement. Whatever that quality he posessed….was lost…. Or hidden somewhere beneath the skin.
His wild eyes were gone, too, though he secretly knew there was a light still burning faintly from within and believed it could claim him again under the right circumstances.