Day 255 – Lose control when angry

Tuesday, November 8th 2016

The day was good, but the evening kinda ruined it. 

I started with math first and we took a quiz. I seem to understand what we’re doing pretty well. I blanked, but I eventually remembered.

Then we had technology and we got our grade average of the mid semester. I don’t know if I read it wrong or what, but I got an 98%, which I’m incredibly happy with, especially since that class uses Blender, and animation is the career I want to follow. Our teacher really liked Kohai’s and I podcast, so I’m very happy with that.

At lunch I sat with Kohai and then we parted ways for me to go in alimentation. I listened to presentations and my partners were absent, so our team didn’t go. Instead our teacher showed us variations of potatoes.

I finished the day with programming and it went well. I’m now starting my home page.

When I got home I hanged out on the server, then ate, then played a couple of games of Dead by Daylight, and then went back on the server, which is where things got messy. Basically, someone on the server sent Kohai a note that seemed romantic and sent me the same thing today. I thought Kohai was messing with me, which she thought I was calling her a liar and I felt really bad, and then we both felt bad. I was then extremely angry at the player for sending two exact same romantic letters, but when I explained in staff chat, someone else pointed out it seemed not romantic. There was the abrupt “I love you” at the end, but the context seem more of a whole server thing, and it could have been friendly, also since the player is Brazilian, so their version of intimacy may be different. That’s when I realized once again I lose control and jump to conclusions when I’m angry. I need to figure out a way to control it, since even though I’m a logical person, my emotions take that away from me, and I thought I had control over my emotions, but I’ve just not experienced anger as I did before, because of this server and how rude players can be. At least, I was told I have good instincts, so although I can jump to the wrong conclusions, most of the time I am told I handled the situation well. Still, I need to find practices to calm myself.

That’s all for today.

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