I miss Matthew so much. Most days I meet his bus after school and stay with him til his mom gets home. He isn’t quite up to staying by himself, although he is 15. We have a little Bible study right after school and then a short rest. I lie down on his brother’s bed. He gets home much later. Matthew is quiet as a mouse during our rest. Sometimes I think he is asleep and then clear as a bell (after about 15 minutes) I hear: “Can we get up now?” So we do. “I want to have more time with you,” he explains. He likes to put a video on TV and then talk me through it, making comments constantly. Some are outlandish. Like, “Would you like to have that pteranodon in your house?” Answer: not especially. We are cut from the same cloth, Matthew and I. That is why I recognized his condition sooner than anyone else. I could tell he was sad. How could they NOT? He didn’t get diagnosed until around 4 years old. Maybe it was 3. His brother is more classic autism. If you saw Rainman, you’ll get the idea. If you didn’t, I recommend it, though not for children mainly because of bad language. Matthew has some bi-polar mixed in and who knows what else? When he gets really upset (over some little thing, almost always angry at himself) he gets violent. He has kicked out two cabinet doors in the kitchen, for instance. He was violent the night daughter called 911 and the ambulance came and took him to the psych ward of the hospital. He couldn’t calm down. Daughter is usually good at talking him down. It is scary when he throws things and knocks over furniture. I never did anything like that. But the general instability he gets partly from his absentee father, his other grandma, and me. I’m just talking on and on. My heart was so full today I had to let some flow over. Thanks for listening, if you did. You were my shoulder to cry on today. (smile) P.S. When not having a meltdown, Matthew is kind, gentle and obedient. He is very tender with animals and even little insects. The meltdowns are almost like some atypical seizure. I wish the hospital would figure it out and help him!