Dad

Dear daddy I’m sorry that I wasn’t their for you as I wanted too.

Now your gone and its been just a month and the family going crazy like you said.

I’m in pain because the family isn’t a family and I need them badly.

Did i make you proud of me? Are you happy being with mom finally?

So many questions that will never be answered.

Its true dad that once someone is gone you regret so many things and feel guilty all the time.

Your the reason i am writing again because i got so much inside me.

I just don’t know where to start dad. Its just hard to believe that now both my parents are gone.

Your last few days keep running through my head, how the family was, how we weren’t their for one another instead.

My depression has been kicking my ass while I’m trying to fight it but it just brings me down 2x faster and harder. 

Dad where do I go? Who Am I? Should I even be here? Why can’t I just talk to u one more time so I can get this off my chest and mind.

I remember living with you. Saying bye when I was off to school because you be on my ass but I didn’t finish like you wished. 

Miss hearing your voice and the stories you will tell, the music you would blast when your cleaning. Guess I got that from you.

Hurt so bad when you got older and couldn’t remember us, you would always go back in time asking for mom when she passed 16 years ago. 

Having to say say good bye and let you go is the hardest thing but I gotta do it for you. 

 

 

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