I write to feel better, like keeping a diary. The only thing I dislike about having a diary is when that certain someone finds it and reads it. Here, even if there will be hundreds of people reading this, they won’t know who I am. Still it’s not 100% safe, like everything else online no?
So.. anyways. I had an argument with my bf yesterday about him not being able to contact me ’cause my data ran out. He was so mad about it, to the point where he even treats me like shit and say awful things. He ignores me, thinks that I deserve to feel like crap and lets me cry. I’m sensitive, and he knows that darn well. I guess he just enjoys it, I don’t know. Oh and to make things worse, knowing that I’m gonna be leaving soon to visit my grandparents, he’s giving me OR maybe it’s me feeling, signals of leaving me. ‘Cause I won’t be text him much or Skype with him. Saying “I’ll lose interest”, but then all before this, he told me he loves me and that he doesn’t regret making this choice to be with someone who’s thousands of miles away. I warned him and he accepted it.. I overthink a lot sometimes, to the point that I think he’ll leave me, cheat on me and all whatever hell shit that could be a nightmare for a girl. I really love him, he’s so sweet but when it comes to things like this, stress… he’s such a baby, he runs away from it and sleep. Funny thing is he wants to be tough and all but this is like.. the opposite for me ya know? I know he’s afraid I might go with someone, but I won’t, I would NEVER do anything to hurt him. I’m not that kind of person. I know it’s hard to trust people nowadays, I get that, I have trust issues too, I don’t even trust him or myself and same goes for him. But I know for a fact that I WANT to trust him, what kind of relationship is this if there’s no trust?
Ugh.. I really don’t know, this situation could be something that’ll end this relationship or make it stronger. Hope for the best.