Depression can wreak havoc on you. You question yourself: What’s my worth? Why am I here? Why bother? Depression eats you up but refuses to spit you out. You question your faith. If God exists, why am I suffering? Why do people die? Why are we allowed to feel this way? Yet, I bet and I pray. Let me overcome this. Let me help others who feel this way overcome this. I may have found my purpose today. Seeing the innocence of children lighting up the room…I can’t help but feel the need to love and care for them. They are the future of this world. They deserve to grow up happy and loved, knowing the world in which they enter is a safe one. ****** has helped me find the spark of living peace. And though I feel pain and I feel suffering, it’s my life duty to persist and help those feeling the same sense of hopelessness. Sometimes I want to feel normal for a bit.
There are times when it feels like everything is going to be alright. But there are times when I’m being devoured by block of ice in my stomach, the fast speed of my heartbeat, and the cold sweat permeating my body. How can someone fake normalcy while feeling this? Yet I do it. And I am not the first to do it.