Things I Have Been Thinking About Besides the Disastrous Results of the Election:
Leather jackets. I saw a gorgeous one at Forever 21 on Saturday when we went to the mall, and I really wanted it, but my mom said I’m not big enough to hold such a bulky piece of clothing up, because my chest and shoulders are pretty skinny and flat and narrow, and according to her, the jacket made me look very small and very thin and very flat and caved-in. I really would like that jacket, though–it was shiny black and it looked so cool. Granted, I have never looked cool in my life, but that’s part of the reason I want it. There is this dude in school that I see every day that has black skinny jeans, a black leather jacket, and a chain attached to his belt loop, and he looks super pretty (yes, pretty, guys can be pretty too) (although he might only dress that way because he’s emo or something) (whatever) (he just looks really nice). Oh well, maybe for Christmas.
Makeup. I saw a makeup beginner’s makeup kit at the store on Sunday, and I kind of want it, because I would like to do some stuff with my eyes, but I didn’t buy it because I have no idea how to use makeup, and it would be a waste if I got the kit but didn’t use it up. Again, maybe for Christmas.
Teeth. My teeth aren’t straight. At all. I forget about them normally, but then I examine them and I think, Christ, I really wish I could get braces. I can’t now, because I’d have to pull out four teeth and stay with the same dentist for two+ years, which won’t happen because I’m moving out of this college town for uni after I graduate. Don’t mind me, just a teenager being self-conscious.
Tests. I have this test or the other every week. It’s not too bad, but tomorrow I have an AP Physics free-response, and I don’t know if I’ll pass that or not….it’s a little iffy.
Friends. I still don’t have many. It makes me a little sad, especially because that day when I was walking with my friend K, and her other friend came up, and I was walking behind them on the grass next to the sidewalk, not knowing what to say. But the friends I do have–(are they friends, though, if you just meet in class and say some nice stuff?)–are the nicest people. They’re the kind of people that are just easy and simple to speak to. I’m so grateful that they exist and actually think that I’m worth talking to.
Holidays. They make me sad and nostalgic and happy and excited and lost at the same time. Thanksgiving is coming up, and we have an actual turkey ready, even though we won’t be able to roast it whole because there is no way we three would be able to finish it except in small portions at a time. We’ll have pie–must remember to remind mom to get a pumpkin one (with whipped cream!) and a cheesecake. No cranberry sauce though, because I detest the stuff. I’m already listening to jazzy Christmas music, which makes me sad and want to sit in front of a fireplace and watch snow fall, but that’s not going to happen anytime soon because it doesn’t snow in Texas and there is no fireplace or chimney in an apartment.
This is just a quick update on my life right now. I’ll write more sometime. Although I’ve actually written quite a decent amount just about my random thoughts. Who would’ve thought? Anyway, have a good day, remain chill, stay safe, be careful (especially if you’re a POC, a Muslim, a woman, or LGBTQA+), and I love you, stay strong.