What’s on my Mind?

If I write what’s on my mind, what would that be?  I think of all of you:  your favorite cats getting ready to undergo surgery; your baby Harry who is SOOooooo cute.  Many of you wondering what to do with your lives.  Many grieving break-ups of love relationships.  Life can be so hard. But never give up.  It is beautiful like nothing else.  That’s because the Creator, our Father God, is beautiful and overflowing with love.  I saw a yellow butterfly today.  My hubby and I were out walking in the park.  He walked a little farther than ever before since he’s been sick.  We saw a red leaf that had fallen from a nearby tree—it was brilliant red.  I wanted to show it to Matthew.  Haven’t heard from Matthew in days.  Wondering how he is.  Going to my Mom’s for supper tonight.  Yes, she’s 92 and still insists on having supper for hubby and me and my sister and her husband once a week, every week.  She says it is important to get the family together in order to KEEP the family together.  She is right.  My nephew who moved so far north he’s nearly in Canada….we used to make up music and play cello and piano together.  Seems like years since I’ve seen him; he and his wife have 2 little girls now.  They never come down.  Sis and husband go up and visit. I miss the whole family and we don’t stay in touch.  He won’t even be here for Christmas—-says it is too hard making the long trip with 2 little ones.  I understand.  That makes me think of my daughter when she was a tyke.  What a darling little girl.  She is all grown up, in a relationship, teaching special ed, raising two special teens boys.  We have become good friends.  But it’s not like when she was little, of course.  No eskimo kisses these days.  No long stories at bedtime, no playing with Strawberry Shortcake dolls.  No regrets, though.  It was the best of times.  Ten years playing piano at church; I regret that a little because my anxiety disorder took a toll, and finally I was not able to keep up the job and they “resigned me.” Now I am thankful.  I get to play at the nursing home and they love it and never complain.  Life is so full of wonder.  Times come and go.  There goes my phone!  So frustrating—telemarketer again.  Hubby is sneaking a little nap before supper.  God bless him.  If he gets horizontal, he goes right to sleep, it’s a given!  I laugh at him and love him.  Need to fix up dinner for our golden retriever.  She gets so excited when we bring her indoors for supper and some loving.  She dances her front paws so cute!  I tell her, “Let’s go see Poppy!”  (she adores him)—my daughter asked “where did you get the title Poppy from?”  I said, “That’s what she calls him.”  Daughter says, “Ah.”  My family is so blessed.  So much love.  I hope the new member (daughter’s fiancé) will be loving and kind and good, too.  These are my prayers.  My dreams, memories and hopes for a blessed future.  What’s gone is gone.  So it is time to embrace the wonderful future and today.  Starting with supper tonight.  A chance for more and more love to flow.  I am going to try to sneak $100 into my mom’s purse—she needs it this month, she’s way low on funds.  I don’t have a lot, but I sure have enough to share with my mom so she doesn’t bounce a check.  God has brought so much healing into my life.  I was once a devastated 3 year old girl, trying to understand where my dad had disappeared to.  (divorce, bad one).  I had nightmares and terrors.  God has taken me under His wing and healed me so much.  I am thankful forever.  Glad I was able to give daughter same two parents for 46 years and counting.  I bet we will celebrate 50, God willing.  Getting close.  I know there will be hard times in the future with health and stuff, and my mom can’t live forever….but I have such sweet memories now.  My childhood was so bad, but God poured grace into it.  I had the best grandmother, she taught me piano and love and Bible.  She was an angel.  I needed her so much, and God knew that.  She was my stay-at-home “Mom.”  She used to read to me, the original Alice in Wonderland for instance.  I am writing too long.  Nobody will read this far!  But my heart was full to overflowing and I enjoyed writing it, so —if anybody read this far, thank you for listening.  I wish you a love-flooded life, too.  God bless you in the special way you need.  Amen.

6 thoughts on “What’s on my Mind?”

  1. I’d say that is a lot on your mind. What is the name of your dog? I love golden retrievers. They are so very intelligent.

    This was a great post. Very touching. I loved the description of your family and the different directions it has gone. I was wondering how Matthew is doing.

    Thank you for showing us ALL love and cheering us on with your radiant light.

  2. You are such an amazingly kind person. Every one of your entries is filled with good thoughts and optimism. The world would be so much better if everyone were as kind as you. I love how you are so good to everyone and I hope your holidays with your family are filled with good cheer!

  3. I wanted to know what was on your mind, but the wall of green text prevented me. It’s really hard to read when there’s no paragraph spacing or anything :\

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