Don’t become Dad. Mum doesn’t like Dad.

He sighed, “I don’t think you should be doing this,” he gestured to my entire body “Don’t play people, don’t put yourself on display, don’t lead people on. Don’t make them love you if you won’t love them back. They’re getting more infatuated by the minute. Don’t end up being like those girls, sluts.Don’t be an attention seeker. Stop asking for sex. Stop asking for love you’ll get bored of. Stop making intoxicated decisions. Don’t become Dad. Mum doesn’t like Dad.” 

I paused. I just stood frozen in place as if my feet had sprouted roots that glued me to the ground and poison ivy circled it’s way up my body til it was wrapped around my neck so tightly that my oxygen was cut off and I felt light headed and I could see my reflection in the mirror behind Isaac turn blue. Blue like the deep, dark, dangerous depths of the ocean. But then it wasn’t blue anymore, it was Dad; charcoal hair and charcoal eyes and ghostly white skin witch dark red, thin lips pulled into a straight line, stitches holding his frown in place.

“I would never be someone like him.
“You’re denying it now, you can’t see it happening. It’s happening faster than you could imagine. Alice I know you’re still hurting and I know things are tough; we’re all suffering in our own ways but you…you’re suffering wrong.” He spoke as if their was an answer hat I was clearly not obtaining. How could he say I was suffering wrong
All at once fear, anguish, pain, aggression and emptiness bubbled up in side me as if I was a shaken up can of coke. Isaac wasn’t my brother, he was a stranger.

“Out…Get out! I don’t need you in my life. I don’t want you here, mum doesn’t either. Dad doesn’t want you. No one does. Get out, you’re not welcome here. You’re not any of our favourites. Go and cry in the bushes, move to the other side of the world. Tear away from me, I don’t need pieces of you stuck to me. Leave, now.”

He was out quicker than ever. He shut the door silently behind him. He steppes heavily along the hallways. His footsteps were always silent…not today though. I heard him suck in all the oxygen and I imagined him floating with his insides stretched from the air and a dull, full grey cloud above him. 

I didn’t see him for the rest of the evening, he didn’t come down for dinner nor did he eat anything left outside his door. Perhaps he vanished.

Written By: Me
Image: Not mine

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