“it feels like nothing”

I spoke to someone about my bpd for the first time. In years of being diagnosed I haven’t really spoken  to one person about it. I wasn’t completely honest but I talked

But the thing is, he was hurting. I could see it and I couldn’t help. I can’t even fucking help myself. It’s gracie’s fault she told me too and I fucked it up. 

But he scares me. He is amazing but I don’t really know him so can I tell him that? I don’t know. This is the problem I think everyone is better than me and that everyone is better off with out me. 

None of my friends really like me. They had their group and I just kinda jumped in. I can’t talk to people. I don’t messages from random guys cuz im not pretty

I’m butch

I don’t mean to be

I’m dissorganized

I don’t mean to be

I’m a mess 

I don’t mean to be

I can’t even help someone who is suffering

I litteraly can’t do anything

I’m failing school again

I’m lying

I’m such a fucking liER 




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