You have told me a few times of how thankful you were for my friendship when you first moved to Sparta. You explained that you only had a few real friends and you were alone. I have been cycling through people in my life, so I feel the pang of loneliness. And here you are, and here you have always been.
You’re the only person who has ever been able to simultaneously love and support me while hating what I was doing, aside from my mother. You were there for every single thing in my life. And I can’t imagine the damage that has been done from me being in yours. Your family and friends always took me in and made me feel welcomed and loved, even when mine didn’t. You gave me so much to think about, experience, and live for. I read these articles on that internet all the time where there sorority girls or non-Greek girls are talking about their sisters/best friends and it’s always so disgusting, but it’s exactly how I feel about you and feelings are gay. You’re my rock, my strength, my reason to endure. But you’re also my safe place, where I can go to be loved on and made okay. You never stopped being that. I don’t know what the fuck I ever did to deserve you. I probably don’t.
You’re the most beautiful, kick-ass chica on the whole goddamned planet, and anyone who doesn’t get anything from you in their life it probably just too stupid to get the joke. Thanks for convincing me to go to prom, for changing in the car on the way to Project Graduation even though you were driving, and reserving the backseat for us every week on the band bus our senior year. <3
Thank you for holding my hand and lighting the paths when it was dark. Thank you for tolerating me. Thank you for everything, I cannot say it enough. Thank you, Alex.
My dream for you, is that you stay true to your interests. If you want to stay in Cookeville, stay there. If you want to finish your degree, finish it. If you want to marry some Sicilian eyebrow model, do it. Whatever the fuck you want from this godforsaken world, fucking take it and own it. For me?
Don’t ever settle for less. Don’t settle for a shit job, for anyone who doesn’t add to your life, or for subpar alcohol/food. Don’t resign yourself to a routine you don’t want to be in. Don’t let life numb you. Surround yourself with love and support, and ask them for help in getting where you want to go. And don’t ever stop going. Dog ranch in Arizona, do it.
I wish you got more from being my best friend. I wish what we got from one another was more equal. You can have literally any of my stuff you want.
I love you, Alex. So fucking much.
Green and gold look great on you.