My favorite me I ever was, was your wife.
You may not read this letter. You may not read this sentence. Maybe you’ll save it for a later date.
It’s hard to know what you’re thinking or feeling. There’s so much bad around something that was supposed to be so good. For as proud as I was to be your wife, I was a shitty one. Needy, standoffish. You were hard to work with. You’re stubborn as hell, and you’re smart as fuck. That’s such a lethal combination, especially when paired with your charm and charisma. I didn’t stand a chance.
You’re honestly the most handsome man I’ve ever seen in my life. When we met, I lost my breath. I was in awe of you. And not just the looks. Not just dat ass. You are such a rugged soul, but you’re still so sturdy. You’re such a good person, and I mean that wholeheartedly. All of the bad that we went through, the scenes behind our closed doors. . . We were both to blame at different points, and I am sorry for my part. You need not feel sorry any more, if you ever did. I just beg that you move forward and be the very best man you can. I know you will. I know what you’re capable of. Make the world your bitch, I believe in you, Boots.
You have an outstanding moral compass. Your logic and compassion make you such a wonderful leader, and it is that quality that made you a wonderful husband. That, and your ability to cook so well. And you’re fucking hilarious, so that helps. I want to tell you some of my favorite memories. I know you try not to remember them. I know the good ones were few and far between. But I have held them dear to my heart for the past 6 months.
*You yes have my shirt.
*Watching you shave before work
*Laying in bed, with you eating approx. 30 Popsicles in 2 episodes of Family Guy
*Waking you up to give you your medicine when you were sick last year. That sounds weird. I just love sleepy Jonathan is all. I just wanted to be useful.
*Meeting you again for the first time at the fish display.
*That fucking perfect necklace you gave me.
*”Is… is this sex?”
*Buying you your first legal drink <3
*The first time I heard you say a cuss word when you got stung by a bee, and you were so embarrassed. Nerd
*The time you knocked over like 4 red gatorade bottles that exploded in WalMart and all you did was run and say “We can never come back here.”
You made me see life differently from the day that we met. I really thought that what we did was crazy enough to work. I believed in you, I believed in us, and you helped me believe in me. I regret not being a memory you can enjoy. I perfectly understand your sentiment towards me. Please understand that I never would have gone through with this all if I knew how badly we would get hurt. I want you to know that if I had to wash anyone’s 3-day old underwear BECAUSE YOU JUST THROW YOUR DIRTY CLOTHES BACK IN THE CLOSET FLOOR WHERE I CAN’T FIND THEM, I’m glad it was your 3-day old underwear. If I had to go back and do it all again, I would, even with this outcome. I do not regret you, though I know you regret me. I do not hate you, though I am sure you hate me.
The best thing for you to do is forget me entirely and move forward. No one’s going to blame you.
You’re in the clear.
I love you, Jonathan.
Do you think that plants they go to Heaven when they die?
If they do, yes if it’s true, that’s where I’ll meet you.