“Everything God does is purposeful. And since God is in each of us, Each of us has a PURPOSE” -Iyanlya Vanzant
I used to journal a lot as a kid. I can specifically remember the first journal my mom purchased for me as a gift. It was pink with a princess crown on the front of it with big pink diamonds. It came with a lock and 2 sets of keys to open it. I put one of the keys in a small antique ring holder that my mom also gave me and the other key on a key chain. I remember that I specifically wrote with a pink pen just so it can match the journal itself. I was about 10 when is started writing in that journal and for 8 years, I wrote in it as frequently as I could. I remember the day the pages ran out and I could no longer us that journal. I was 18, a senior in high school, still using the same princess diary. Only this time, I was transforming to the next stage in my life.
My second journal, I purchased was from Barnes and Noble a few months after a ex boy friend and I broke up. I was 23 and hadn’t really thought about my passion for writing since I decided that I was changing my major from English to Sociology. The first entry was the hardest. I held the pen in my hand, struggling to express the thoughts on paper that were lingering in my mind. Almost a year passed before I decided to write another entry in that journal. I can remember thinking, “Come on girl, what has gotten into you? Write something already”. It wasn’t until I started to think about what my divine purpose was in life. What plans does God have for me and how can I follow his will?
The first time I heard God speak to me about his will was at my desk at work. I was listening to a preacher preach about sharing the word of God with others and how can you be a minister to other Christians. I immediately thought, “Oh that’s it! I will start a new blog about my journey with God, share pictures, and talk about my past mistakes. But like many people around me, I am still discovering my journey with God. So the blog I immediately started was deleted a month later. Than today, I felt God speaking to me as i was finishing up the book of Matthew. I felt a urge to pour out my thoughts and log where I was in life at this moment. I don’t know exactly what my divine purpose is right now. Maybe I am meant to just work in non-profit or maybe I’m only meant to be a dog mom. If that’s what God intends for me to do, then I will obey his will. What I do know is that I feel so much passion inside of me. I have so much to offer and to give in different areas of my life. There is a fire that burns deep down in my soul to where I feel a burst of joy when I reach for that sensation. There is so much love and happiness when I sit and close my eyes to focus on my calling from God. I don’t understand what is transpiring in my life but I do know what Ephesians 3:20 says when it says, “God has more in store for you than you could ever imagine”.
I believe that if God has so much in store for me, why not do what I always have been called to do all my life; journal.
Today I still write in that journal I purchased form Barnes and Noble. It has become a place where I can freely speak my mind and talk to God about all my dreams. I also still have my first pink, princess journal. I plan to read it when I have a kid and think about all the adolescent things I used to do back then. My hope is that I can discover my purpose through this journal, while I am transforming again in life.